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A fabulous friend of mine was also at the equal marriage hearing and provided a visual summary of the opposition's arguments while I was furiously quoting them on paper.

Feel free to pass these around! Enjoy...

This is about a week and a half late, but hey. I teach.

On April 22nd I had the honor and the obligation to go to the Maine Senate panel's hearing on the senate bill LD 1020 for gay marriage. Specifically, this bill's summary states:

"This bill repeals the provision that limits marriage to one man and one woman and replaces it with the authorization for marriage between any 2 persons that meet the other requirements of Maine law. It also specifies that a marriage between 2 people of the same sex in another state that is valid in that state is valid and must be recognized in this State.

This bill also clarifies that the authorization of marriage between 2 people of the same sex does not compel any religious institution to alter its doctrine, policy or teaching regarding marriage or to solemnize any marriage in conflict with that doctrine, policy or teaching. It also specifies that a person authorized to join persons in marriage and who fails or refuses to join persons in marriage is not subject to any fine or other penalty for such failure or refusal."

We arrived at the Augusta Civic Center with a feeling of dread; at every rally, protest or political event around this issue, I've been out-numbered, out-organized and out-voiced. This time, I felt a glimmer of hope. The hearing was set to begin at 9am; this is what we saw at 7am:



What an amazing sight....a sea of red-wearing supporters for queer rights in Maine. If you look closely, the people directly behind me and in one section of the bleachers are opponents to the bill (notice the .lack. of red) vastly outnumbered and looking distinctly uncomfortable. How does it feel to be the minority, folks? Not so good, is it? Many opponents brought children with them...and those poor kids looked like deer in the headlights. They were staring at us, mouths agape, looking like if they didn't stick right to their parents, we'd eat them alive.  It made me so angry to think about what they've been told to be so afraid of us.  In contrast, the kids that came in support of queer marriage were happy, laughing, hugging, and having a great time.

Over the course of the next 11 hours of testimony, we listened to both sides...and the contrast couldn't have been more apparent. To give you an idea, here's a list of the kinds of people and groups who testified for and against.

PRO	CON
National Organization for Women	Individuals (some religious leaders, some politicians, and an endless supply of right-wing religious nut jobs)
Religious Coalition of the Freedom to Marry (line of Episcopal, Jewish, Methodist, UU and Congregationalists stretched and curved across the entire front of the auditorium)
Youth & young adult groups
Equality Maine & the Maine Freedom to Marry Coalition
WWII and other war veterans
Professors/Lawyers with special knowledge on the legality of the issue
Politicians from MA
GLSEN

Can you see how our side was vastly more organized?

The opposition had two arguments repeated over and over and over again (with Bibles to back them up)--three if you really stretch it:

1. Equal marriage will lead to the death of marriage entirely, the death of society and order.  (Wow...really?)
2. Equal marriage will lead to the legalized abuse and neglect of children...not to mention incest and pedophilia
3. "Just because I oppose gay marriage doesn't make me a bigot! Some of my best friends are gay!" (Can't tell you how many times I heard that line.

When you have to listen to 5.5 hours of constant fear, hate and wing-nuttitude, you have to combat that somehow so that you don't get up and take out a big can of whup-ass. It was hard to remember to breathe calmly through the hysterical screaming into the microphone by the opponents, so I spent my time writing down everything they said, because...well, you just can't make this shit up.

I've compiled a list of statements and arguments against equal marriage made by those equal marriage opponents for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

• Some, when they oppose gay marriage, are seen as a bigot; I am not a bigot.
• It's impossible for an egg to turn to sperm; a sperm to an egg.
• The fabric of the family will break down; homes without fathers will result. (Um...)
• Everyone knows it's not about love. It's about legitimizing personal and selfish needs.
• If we allow gay marriage, we'll be growing socialism!!
• When I look at this sea of red, I'm reminded of the Nazis at Auschwitz.
• First prayer was taken out of public schools, then there was abortion, then the commandments were taken off of public buildings. Now this. What's next?
• God made Adam's wife Eve, not Steve.
• Our forefathers would be ashamed to be discussing this issue! We need to go back to the foundations which this country is based on...the word and law of god.
• This definition of marriage goes against 2000 years of Christian and Jewish tradition! (Er....)
• In a heterosexual marriage, child abuse is less and kids are less likely to have sexual relationships; less likely to have gender confusion. (Dude! The APA has proven that wrong!)
• If this passes, we'll get more polygamy and multiple marriage contracts between multiple people!!
• Homosexual men live 8-20 fewer years than heterosexual males. If we pass this law, we'll all live 8-20 years less.
• If this law passes, it will give homosexuals unfettered access to children to molest them. (This is when we all stood up and turned our backs to the guy.)
• If we give these rights to everyone, they're not special anymore! (oh, classic.)
• We all know that juvenile delinquents don't come from strong families....(Love how that's just left open...)
• When will it stop? Marriage between three people? How about animals? You will destroy marriage! Nothing will satisfy them! This is a slippery slope! They want something they can't have!! (Imagine her voice getting higher-pitched and more hysterical)
• We have a loving god and a god of wrath and justice! If you want the blessings of god and me, don't pass this law. If you want his wrath, go ahead and pass it. God doesn't want you to pass it. (Oh, good...thanks for remembering. I forgot to call god before I arrived.)
• Canada passed gay marriage and now they want to pass laws allowing polygamy. We need to spend time on the economy; not this. (Um, one topic please? Could you clarify your insanity?)
• If we're going to give marriage rights to these people, then give them to me--I'm a single male and I could use those rights too! (Excuse me, but is that crack good? Did you smoke much?)

Whew. I cannot make this shit up.

The day wasn't all bad. We began the day hearing stories of love and devotion. We heard from allies of all ages and walks of life. We heard from loving couples, their children, government officials, veterans....I saw members of the hearing committee cry several times that day. The stories were so moving.

I sobbed when my Unitarian Universalist minister sweetie joined a line of about 130 ministers from all denominations to testify in support of equal marriage. They lined up in front of the panel two people thick and had to curve at the ends. And those were just the ministers who were able to make it to the hearing!



One boy next to me (we were in the front row) was crying at a point when an opponent was getting hysterical, and a committee member got up and gave him a box of tissues. Later, after watching the boy, the representative wrote him a note of support and had an aide deliver it. Bits of humanity like that were so moving.

Some good quotes:

• In response to "Okay, let's give you protections, but let's call it something else, like civil union": If we call it something else, it IS something else.
• How many of you who are legally married would willingly give that up to be "unioned"? None of you.
• Doing the right thing is always right, but not always easy.

NOTE: A huge legal loophole was discovered: many people testified that they filled out every form of paperwork possible (domestic partnership agreement, living will, medical power of attorney, executor rights...) and when their spouse died and the body had to be cremated, the coroner did not recognize the relationship and in some cases, the living partner had to ask relatives (in one case, a 96 year old mother with Alzheimer's in MN) for permission to dispose of the body. I want to encourage everyone reading this to make sure this loop hole doesn't exist in your state!

More photos of the event can be found on my Flickr page. It's amazing!

UPDATE: Good news. As of yesterday, LD 1020 passed the panel and passed in the state Senate with .no. amendments. News is, it could pass in the House next week and get to the Governor's desk soon after that. Two worrisome things: our DEMOCRATIC governor, Baldacci, has not taken a stand on this issue and could decide to veto it, of all things. If the opposition gets enough signatures, they could force a "people's veto" vote in the fall to override the law.

Remember California? If we're not careful, we could have a repeat.

I admit, I was skeptical at first, because when a governor vetoes something, it usually takes quite a bit of effort for the legislature to override that veto.

I am delighted to say that I was SO wrong!

Vermont Legalizes Gay Marriage

Vermont over-rode the governor's veto and now, for the first time without going to court, VT becomes the 4th state in the US to legalize gay marriage. Wheee!

Happy Dances!

Coming to you from an out-of-the-way classroom in Blue Hill, Maine, I'm happy to report that progress has been made.

In IOWA of all places.

Today, the Supreme Court in Iowa overruled the ban on gay marriage, saying that it was unconstitutional as it took away gay rights.

Read this article for more details.

IOWA!!

This is more than just a solid victory for gay marriage in this country, it shows just how mainstream this idea is becoming.
Queers will be able to marry now--in Iowa, of all places!
I certainly expected this to be one of the last places to accept it.

Civil unions are good in VT, NJ, NH.
Gay marriage is legal: (CA?) CT, MA and now IA.

We're fighting for marriage rights in ME now...and CA is going through its own battles due to an over-funded right-wing battle that told lies.

Today's good news was brought to you by the number 50 and the letters Y, E, and S.

Okay, it's official: I'm now completely in Obama's camp.

I have to admit that I had strong negative opinions during the campaign, and when Hillary conceded, it took me a while to make the move to the "oh-I-guess-I'll-vote-for-him" camp...but he really grew on me.

It's been so refreshing to see someone at the helm who's an actual adult. Making adult and reasoned decisions. There are some things I disagree with (such as his reticence to allow people to investigate the previous administration and officials for war crimes--I think pressure is building so that he'll have to get out of the way, but his foot-dragging is disconcerting), but on a whole, I'm giddy nearly every day when reading the news.

In just 10 weeks, he's worked on:
Stimulus plan
Helpful budget
Saving millions of acres of land in the US
Investing in education--in a budget!!
Investing in infrastructure--in a budget!!
Making his administration's website transparent--he talks to us every.fucking.week and explains it all
He has bad ideas--people (like veterans) balk with good reason--he drops the idea!!!

And now? And now?
He wants to work for a world where we have no nuclear weapons. We have a president--the first, I think--who actually understands that having a nuclear arsenal AT.ALL is not in any way viable. It doesn't make anyone safer; it makes us all less safe. It's not even an effective deterrent.

What a relief.
We finally have a responsible grownup in the White House.

Thank you, Mr. President

...is always a day I want to call in sick.
Being a teacher is hazardous on this day...but here I am. Mentally cringing at the possibility that I may encounter more impish-than-usual behavior.

But I got a good laugh today! Have I mentioned lately that I .love. Google??

New! Google Autopilot

...when you wake up from a dream where your beloved is hit by a car and sliced in half.

I feel devastated.
I called to make sure she is alright on her trip, and she is...

...but I can't see her until Tuesday.

I can't really be reassured that my love is safe until she's in my arms.

Today, I am haunted by images no one should see.

I love Wordle:

I recently (read finally) gave in to the temptation to just suck it up and buy a subscription to Scientific American Magazine and I have not regretted it at all. I've been learning about every corner of science and technology, including what scientists are currently researching. We really are doing incredible stuff -- it gives me such hope...

...and if I may reclaim my hick-ness for a moment, boy howdy, does this stuff challenge my brain.

Which brings me to today's post. Last night I read the article "Saving New Brain Cells" by Tracey J. Shors, and learned quite a lot. Read the whole article here. Below are some excerpts.
So if you want to keep new neurons alive and keep more and more neurons (thus enhancing your ability to learn things), then challenge the heck out of yourself every day. Do math or word puzzles, learn new physical responses with video games, take a class in a topic that makes you think in ways you don't usually.

The key is: spend time thinking about things that take a great deal of effort to think about. You will keep your brain buffed up for sure.

Some of you know that I've begun what was previously known as the Impossibly Unlikely Dream of writing my first novel.
Throughout my .entire. life, I've wished:
1) That I could write a book
2) That I could be smart enough to write a book
3) That I could have enough talent to write a book....
...you see where this is going.

And so, with the cheering of my friends and my sweetie, I've begun Writing The Book.
If you have never read Eat Pray Love (like me), then I suggest you start.
Like...now. I know I will. I've been given new inspiration by Elizabeth Gilbert and she's buoyed my self-esteem again.

Enjoy the uplifting words of Elizabeth.

A word of advice to those with sweeties:

If you choose to fly out of town on a vacation trip, and fail to bring your sweetheart with you (even if both of you are okay with this trip),
Be Warned.

Karma will bite you in the arse.

I'm trapped in Detroit for the evening because I think I was just swatted on the arse by Karma herself.
If the Travelocity folks in India had actually listened to me about how it was a bad idea to put only 45 minutes between my inbound and outbound flights in Detroit, perhaps we wouldn't have a problem right now.

But you know, my sweetie has a finger on the pulse of...well...Karma, I guess.
She reserved a room for me at the Westin (attached to the airport!!!) so I wouldn't have to break my back on concrete for the night.

She loves me.
And I am so hers.

I took this EQ test -- Emotional Intelligence -- just to see where I stand. There are about 30 quintillion tests out there, but if you're interested in seeing your emotional intelligence score (deemed more important than IQ by many), click the link at the bottom of my post.


About Emotional Intelligence

There is no arguing that classical IQ, as measured by most intelligence tests, is important in our personal, academic, and professional success. However, emotional intelligence matters as much as the classical IQ. One could almost say that emotional intelligence is a prerequisite for the proper development and actualization of our other intellectual abilities.

Simply put, we need to learn to recognize and label our feelings and needs, reconcile them with our long-term goals and with the needs and feelings of other people involved. And we need to cultivate the ability to identify ways of meeting our goals and needs and to soothe our own feelings. Then, we need to motivate ourselves and mobilize all our internal (energy, effort, discipline, perseverance, resilience) as well as external resources (building social networks through effective communication, social insight, empathy, reading other's emotions, setting boundaries).

 

Results of the Emotional IQ Test

 

	Emotional IQ
Your score = 118

 

What does your score mean?

Your Emotional IQ is excellent - much higher than average. This means that, in general, you are able to express your feelings clearly in appropriate situations. You are optimistic and positive, and adapt well to changed circumstances. You deal effectively with stress, interact with others and communicate adequately. You are comfortable with yourself, and you know and appreciate your talents and strong points as well as your weaknesses. You are able to motivate yourself, find the energy and the strength necessary to complete what you need to do to reach your goals. You are one of the resilient people who bounce back after major drawbacks, survive hardship without bitterness, and still manage to empathize with others. These skills will certainly bring you long-term benefits such as stronger relationships, better health and personal happiness.
___________________________________

Want to know your score? Take the test here.

From the LA observer:

Dear Loonyverse,

After many years of dreaming, plotting, avoiding and not a small amount of tucking my head in the sand, I have finally begun...
The Novel.

We all have baggage, right? Mine is from Language Arts class back in Duluth. My teacher (who is .still. there, I might add) did not consider me to be one of The Greats in her class. I rarely understood her instructions, much less the writing styles and vocabulary she was trying to teach. I don't know what it was, but I didn't get the highest marks.

This week, umpteen years later, was my week to Learn Something New.
There was nothing wrong with my writing; I'm just an intuitive writer. I spent most of my life firmly convinced that I didn't have whatever it took to really put coherent words onto paper long enough to tell a story. In fact, the annoying voice in my head is still trying to convince me of this.

It all started....well, too long ago to remember. I've had this character in my head for at least a decade. No amount of burying my head in the sand, sticking my fingers in my ears and singing "La la la!" would put this character out of my mind. If I was still for long enough, my character would come for a little visit.

Then came the images. That was a few weeks ago. Anyone who knows me will tell you how .extraordinarily. visual I am. I'm always talking about the pictures in my head when I get an idea. I cannot follow directions unless I see them. With a picture. Ideally with colors and nice arrows and mileage and such. But I digress.

Have I mentioned how much I love my sweetie? This is related, I promise.
After squirming for several days about how badly I wished I could write a novel because the story just needs to bust out of my brain, she looked at me and said, "Well. What are you waiting for? Write it down. You've got a pen. Here--have some paper."
I looked at her aghast like it was the strangest idea she's ever had. Write it down? You mean...actually write the novel? Like...on paper?

I'm not so dense as I sound...but after over a decade of experiencing others' total non.excitement about my writing, what would you expect? The story in my head was, "I cannot write. I should stick to teaching, because even if I get stuck on a physics problem, I can figure it out. A book would be too much work, too much structure...and I'm just not capable of such things.

Right?

Right. So I've written almost 5,000 words. People who've read it have been kind enough to say they like it.
My editor brain is turned off. I'm in story-telling mode.
Let's hope it works.

O Wonder of Wonders.

Hi all,

So far, I've gotten only one person to say they're interested in creating a book club, which is great, but I'd love more!!

Read the previous post and let me know, dudes! This could get really fun.

Hi all,

I'm interested in starting an online book club community. I'd love for us to read books and talk about them...but because we're so far apart (or because I'm so far away from you), I'd love to have us connect online for our gatherings and chat about our books that way.

First, is anyone interested?
Second, does anyone know a website format that would suit us?

• I'd like to have a web page where we can go, view the books we've read, plan to read and the book we're reading now.
• I'd like us to have a bulletin board where we post comments as we read.
• I'd like to have chat ability so we can meet online at scheduled times and chat about what we've read and what we think about it.
• I'd even like to have a place where, if anyone's writing anything, we can share that as well.

I need to stay connected with my friends. I also like reading. I also need to have my thoughts and ideas challenged as I feel like I'm going stagnant.

Would you respond with a yay or nay, and let me know what web format you think might be best? I'll be responsible for setting it all up.

Let us begin!

A lot has been changing...and while most of the time I embrace it, I sometimes feel like my cats: "Change.Bad.Mommy!"

I've blogged previously about recent changes that I've made on purpose

• I'm lifting weights and finding the power in my body.
• I'm eating a more manageable diet and feeling all righteous 'n shit.
• Letting the story in my head come out on paper is making the novel dream a reality.
• Getting back into singing has been good for me.
• Although I would like to sing without worrying about having to be The Leader in every.single.group.
• Conducting (and learning how to conduct) has been a fabulous experiment.
• Photography has come back into the fore--if you're curious, you can see my art at http://www.flickr.com/photos/kivarocket

And some change has been harder to deal with than the above

• I have an unknown medical condition that indicates a hormone imbalance; I know I've been thinking of myself as transgender for years now, but I was expecting to need testosterone injections for the facial hair growth and mood swings that have recently made my life more unpredictable and interesting. Note to loonyverse: if I'm going to grow facial hair, make it all or nothing, please. This in-between crap is irritating and not useful.
• Adjusting my sleep schedule to one of a morning person has proven to be more difficult than I expected. I'm a total night owl who's job requires morning chickadee alertness. I still struggle to get to sleep before 2am (my preferred sleep time) and deal with getting up at 6am (4 hours earlier than I'd like). lesigh
• Despite my best efforts, my weight loss plan is not succeeding. Did I mention I'm not a patient person? heh
• And despite having lived in a beautiful place for almost two years now, I'm not so happy being far away from my closest friends.

I would like to note, however, that the changes I .do. appreciate the most outnumber the icky changes. That's a good sign.

If you're one of those friends who's far away, you are officially invited to our little cabin in the woods this coming summer. Please join us for warm, sunny weather, ocean, birds, great scenery, fantastic conversation and plenty of kayaking. Not to mention amazing hospitality. .grin.

Considering all of the things I've changed about my life since the new year began, I have to think that I'm doing pretty well. I've been working hard at eating a diet that's responsible and reasonable, I've been lifting weights every other day (and shoveling when the snow and rain pour down), and I've even begun writing a novel.

My inner critic has plenty to say about that last bit.
But I digress.

For the most part, I feel pretty good about life right now. I have never previously made new year resolutions, as I thought they were superficial and silly. This time, though, I needed to change some things about the way I go through my day, and I picked the new year as it seemed like a reasonable enough place to begin.
And I get to fantasize about how buff I'm going to be in six months if I keep this up.

.grin.

I also have to mention that I really love living in the NE, as I've been able to live through two .real. winters in a row. Real, in this case, can be defined as reasonably cold and snowy enough to keep up to two feet of that white stuff on the ground at all times. Watching the surface water in the bay nearby freeze at high tide and crack at low tide is breathtakingly beautiful. There's been enough ice buildup in some places that we've got mini glaciers--most of the ice is so heavy you can see aqua blue slabs just under the surface. I could take pictures, but i don't think I could ever do that beauty any justice.

As I keep saying to my sweetie on our way home every day..."Damn. We live here!"

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